The Zen Life

It's Rosh Hashannah! L'Shana Tova! Happy New Year!

So many things to be thankful for today (and tomorrow). Rosh Hashannah itself is a blessing in that it allows us to keep Ryan and Garrett out of their unshiny schooly place for 2 days--YAY!

Today we went to our temple and celebrated with services. At first, we were going to have Elijah in the babysitting room; Ryan, Jonah, and Garrett in the teen service, and Meredith and us in the "adult" service. But as I was sitting there waiting for services to begin, I was feeling completely dis-connected. It was feeling ALL wrong!!! Rosh Hashannah is supposed to be a joyous celebration--so why was I all bummed out?

Then I realized--EUREKA!! I was bummed that the family was split up among three SEPARATE rooms!!! Mike and I talked about it and decided it would be much more fun to celebrate together. So we got up, left the Sanctuary where the adult services were, went and got Elijah out of babysitting and joined the older boys in the teen service. It was wonderful! The boys watched as the teens led an AWESOME and AWE-some service complete with singing (a little dancing) and a lot of JOY! Elijah danced around and twirled until he was dizzy (causing much laughter from us). And little Meredith played around on the floor and on our laps, flirting with everyone who was near.

After, we went to Starbucks for hot cocoa and coffee (a new year treat from me) and then Michael went to the bank and got the kids the new gold president dollars and carrying cards (a new year treat from him).

It was a fantastic day!

Later, we went to the lake and celebrated Tashlick. For those who don't know--Tashlick (tash-leek) is where you take a little bread, think about some not-so-great things that have happened over the past year, attach that memory (or the energy of that memory) to the bread, and toss it into moving water to be carried out to sea and never heard from again! It is a pretty beautiful tradition.

This year, I wanted to add another element. So on our way to the lake we talked about times when others don't let us BE who we ARE. We talked about the times when others put THEIR expectations on US and how that made us feel. We talked about when others try to make us do things we don't want to do, or things that are outside of our Authentic Selves. We also talked about the times that WE tried to make others be or do something that wasn't true for THEM.

These were the moments that we decided to cast aside. We threw away letting others take away from our authenic Selves, and we threw away any desires to control others. We threw away anything that wasn't true to who we ARE. And we laughed at the seagulls and ducks eating our bread.

Then we got our pie ingredients to make a "Apple & Honey-Sweet Life-Rosh Hashannah Pie". And even though I had to go through 2 failed online recipes for dough before just using one I made up on my own (THAT WORKED!!--if that isn't a testiment to an unschooling life, nothing is!), it was really,really good! What a Joyful Day! What a Great start to the new year!

Tomorrow, we are going out exploring into our world--Stay tuned!

"I can't believe no team has ever beaten us!!!" & "Mom, I don't want to go to swim lessons today."

Two comments from my two 8 year olds--each celebrating their OWN identity and what it means to be joyful! Garrett's soccer team won again (they are undefeated!) and with each win, Garrett finds more excitement, more desire, more "woo-hoos!" about his part of a TEAM (a connection he really likes to make!). We don't push or suggest that "winning" is somehow better than not "winning". But for Garrett--it IS a marker for success. Or rather, the not winning (in his mind) is a mark of failure. Now, I could get into a whole rant here about how public schools ingrain competition into the public psyche, and kids end feeling like they are either winners OR losers and there is nothing in between, and the whole good-bad dicotomy of the system--but I would rather focus on Garrett feeling all shiny! And it is not for me to define what is success for Garrett. Or even to decide for Garrett whether "success" (as define by popular culture) should be important to him. What IS important is that, regardless of the reasons, Garrett was allowed to freely choose to play a sport (or not), freely participate in that sport (or not) , and has come away from each practice and game with a whole barrell full of warm fuzzies about HIMSELF! YAY Garrett!

For Jonah's part, he had his own moment of complete personal freedom when he decided he didn't want to take his swim lesson today; instead, he wanted to do other things (play the DS and the Wii). His statement was made with some apprehension. Would we honor his request, would we get angry, would we force him to do something that he really did not want to do? In the past (before learning about and realizing the personal power of unschooling), I am sorry to say that our reponses would be just that. But today I can honor who Jonah IS and so I said "Okay", followed by the reassurance that he did not have to do anything he didn't want to do. We realized that we may have been remiss in not talking to the boys about our philosophies about parenting and life and learning. Especially given that we have made (over the past year or so) a change from what we once thought it was to be a "good" parent.

The discussion was a lightbulb moment for all of us! Ryan said that he would rather not go to swimming today either (and is now happily playing the Wii!). It was really interesting to talk with him about our (Mike and I) ideas about our family. More and more we see him really seeing the disconnect between his own personal freedoms and what happens to him at school. Today he said "I really wish I could be homeschooled, too" (with a great big sigh). We promised him (and Garrett who echoed that sentiment) that we wouldn't give up. We would continue to ask and ask and be their cheerleaders for a more free life.

And now everyone is all happily shining joyfully as they each do the things THEY want to do (Elijah and Garrett swimming, Jonah and Ryan playing video games, Mike at the Y, and me home writing and cleaning). I love how I get reaffirmed every moment of everyday that not only is the unschooling path the more righteous path, but also the easiest path to follow! Now when I hear others talking about how parenting is the hardest, most challenging job in the world, I think: "You're doing it wrong!". Parenting is beautiful, joyous and EASY once you stop trying to control the outcome!

Love & Light,
K.

So it is Friday again. Amazing how that seems to happen about every seven days! Yesterday, Mike and I went with Jonah, Elijah, and Meredith to pick apples with our local homeschooling group. We had tons of fun which I can't show you because I forgot my camera! Oh well. Actually--it is okay. I like to think of those moments without my camera as moments I am actually a part of my children and their (our) experiences (rather that separated by a lens).

So an apple-pickin' we went! The McCouns (my favorites) still weren't ready, and the Jonamacs (we like those just because of their name) didn't look to great, so we ended up with Galas--which are tasting pretty delicious! Jonah has decided that the best thing we can do with those apples is bake a pie. So a pie we will be baking!

Jonah has also decided that with the success of the pumpkins we are growing he is ready to take on a tree! So we are starting our apple trees seeds (along with some beans and wheat). We have granny smiths, too--so I think we will be trying both those and the galas.

Beyond that, the house is a wreck, we still have about 5 loads of laundry to do (we ALWAYS have about 5 loads of laundry to do!), the grass is long, the leaves are falling into the pond, the hallway needs to be vacuumed, and I still have 3 courses of curriculum to write for the new classes I am "teaching" online. But the kids are are GREAT!

We just can't seem to pull ourselves away from them to get anything done around the house. The neighbors probably don't understand--but then again, they are moving (and our kids are GREAT!)--so what do we care?!!

Tally Ho!
Karen

Well, let's see how this turns out! I started another blog earlier in the year--I think I posted twice and then had a baby! Seems I got kinda busy after that. Not that I am any less busy--but let's just say that things have settled in here at the ranch.

Our family now complete, we are happily living and loving our days! The local public schools have started up again, which means Ryan and Garrett leave us for 6 hours each day to go to a very Un-joyful place. They wish that weren't so. Garrett especially, as he asked us specifically if he could be homeschooled AND if we would ask his mom for him (he had already asked her with not so great results). So we championed his cause! And we are still waiting for a reply. . . ah well. It tis what it tis. The best we can do now is support the boys within that space. Simply put, we honor the decisions they choose to make while they are there, and be their voices where the system wouldn't otherwise allow.

The return of the ps year also means that we get to take back the wonderful joyful places we love to go: the parks, museums, libraries, YMCA, etc. etc. And Jonah, Elijah, and (soon) Meredith have the run of these places! With other homeschooly kids too! YAY!

In any case, welcome to our happy joyful Blog!

K.